Do you have any suggestions on how to keep a menacing squirrel off my front porch?

When I try to shoo it away, it just gives me this glare and won't move.Do you have any suggestions on how to keep a menacing squirrel off my front porch?
Why don't you put pictures of your ex boyfriends and husbands along the wall. It seems to me that although you and I have excellent taste in men, most other people, and our friends in the animal kingdom, don't share our peculiar penchant for old fat blokes with wrinkles!Do you have any suggestions on how to keep a menacing squirrel off my front porch?
Get a be-be gun and a frying pan.
Peanuts with Dave's Insanity Sauce or some other hot pepper sauce..
call animal control for a trap,tell them he is acting strange!
You need a guard duck.
ooo i love squirrles....
a pellett rifle will make it go bye-bye
I hate squirrels. If you had a big dog it would probably stay away.
don't know if this actually works but my dad claims it does. He put a rubber snake on his porch and say's there have been no squirrels back since.
Several:





1. Kill it. I'm not advocating it but if you want to consider this as an option there are commercial poisons or the old .22 cal pistol / rifle. They make a short .22 cal bullet inappropriately nicknamed ';cat killers'; that don't carry the distance or noise that a regular bullet does. And them squirrels is good eat'n.





2. Trap it in a live trap. You can pick one up for less than $50. Follow the directions and move the animal out to the country.





3. Hire a falconer. Squirrels don't like preditors but preditors like squirrels.





That's it off the top of my head.
Get a dog.








JK. Maybe ask animal control. They will know what to do.





Look 'em up in the yellow pages.
Have you tried punching it in the face? I'd probably get off your porch if you punched me in the face.
get a cat
move the bird seed to another place in the yard.
Throw it an empty jar of peanut butter without the lid. Either it will become happy with you or it will get stuck and you can capture it and take it away. Don't forget to video tape it, it can be pretty funny.
You might just as well learn to enjoy them because they are independent little critters.We have had squirrels for as long as we have lived at our house.They really are quite entertaining .
Borrow somebody's cat and rub it all over your front porch.
grab a broom and sweep the porch, getting closer and closer. He'll leave.
That's actually really cute. lol.





Throw birdseed somewhere away from the porch. It will start looking there instead.
Just start throwing peanuts out the back door... :P
Have some one climb up a tree and act like a nut.
Get a cat.
I love squirrels. You can spray pure peppermint extract on your porch. They hate it.